Black Saturday/this holy week

I guess this is the first of 5 years, i missed to participate in the outdoor activity of the holy week. Formerly, I participated all the prayers and the Church's ordeals. The reason would be i missed it due i don't have anyone who would come with me. I don't want to see i am alone in there, shivering and staring other people with an uncomfortable smile on my face.:(

Maybe i fear loneliness on the outside, but the inside it feels great, you can focus on building your own career minus some sentiments like "no one will give you an inspiration to keep you going". I got 3 years to prove, all you need is yourself, and will not rely on others makes your career sky rocket to the top or even it would grasp an average feeling into it, just to make your career stable and satisfactory for you.